Never stop trying

Ok so...... I've been MIA for a year and a half.  And you know what has changed in that year and a half? NOTHING! And everything at the same time...

In my personal life, I ended my 8.5 year relationship with the aforementioned 'baby daddy', became a single parent to a 2 year old and 5 year old, had major surgery to fuse the bones in my foot (see my "Beginning" post regarding that previous injury), had a Summer fling rebound relationship which ended horribly, and then... then I met the love of my life "Darling", who loves me exactly how I am, no matter what. So obviously a lot of stressors and changes, good and bad happening, but it has brought me to a really great place in my life.

I've learned a thing or two this past year and a half. Most importantly? I can't lose weight and get into shape and be healthy for anyone else if I don't want to do it for ME. I can use them as motivation, but ultimately, I need to please myself if I want to succeed. And this is precisely what I am finally doing.

So picking up where I left off 18 months ago...

I decided at Thanksgiving (Genius right?) that the time was NOW.  I was happy, and stable, in a healthy amazing relationship, and ready to really give myself the attention I needed and deserved. But I had made virtually no progress.  On the morning of November 27, 2013, I weighed in at 237.7 pounds. My foot was still not fully recovered from my surgery the previous December, so working out - heck even WALKING - was difficult and painful, but my doctor kept telling me that it won't get better until I lose weight.  So I decided to get serious about my diet.

Random fact? I'm super carb sensitive. Besides the obvious cravings for sugar, I have PCOS and don't process them well, so I stay fat.  My mother and grandmother had both recently begun following an Atkins like regime of low carb/high protein with astonishingly good results, so I thought to myself "Ok, if they can do it, so can I!"  I had a major trip coming up for Christmas to visit Darling in Canada and wanted to drop a few pounds before then, so I promised myself one month, just dieting- not working out and pushing my foot to the point of injury- and I would see what would happen.

So I cut out carbs, almost entirely.  Not completely. I had a cheat meal every once in a while, but no soda, none of my beloved Monster energy drinks, breads, etc.  I focused mainly on protein like meats and cheese, the Atkins shakes which are surprisingly quite good, and lots of veggies.  I found some foods that I loved, like the new frozen Atkins meals when I was too busy to cook, a bag of Tyson sweet asian chicken thighs, italian meatballs, and so on.  For a month, I really committed.

And I lost 17 lbs.  Now mind you, you lose weight pretty easily when you have a LOT of weight to lose, and at that point, I had 90 pounds I needed to get rid of, but still, I was pretty proud of myself!

Then I went to Canada..... And discovered Poutine..... Know what Poutine is? Its french fries. With gravy and cheese curds.  Sounds disgusting right?  Well its not. Its AMAZING. And for the 9 days that I was in Toronto, I ate it almost every day. Thankfully there was a lot of walking! And then I came home... And missed Canada and my love so much that I started making Poutine here. Remember where I said I was carb sensitive?  Yeah. I regained almost 5 lbs in 2 weeks.

So here it was, the whole "New Year, New Me" conundrum that every one falls into on January 1st, and I was down about 13 pounds from where I had started, and completely lacking motivation to get back into my diet. I had some health issues creep up this month, and lots of medications, and I just kind of quit myself.

But I'm better than that! And I'm not giving up... so I got back into it.  I didn't go straight back to Atkins, but I started making better choices, and drinking more water.  My Monster's and were replaced with 0 carb rehab drinks with vitamins and my necessary-to-survive caffeine. Little by little it started coming off and my clothes were looser, but I didn't want to see the scale, until while Skyping with Darling he looks and me and says "Wow you have lost a LOT of weight!"

With that motivation, I decided to get on the scale just to see for myself.
And wouldn't you know it?  212.8.

I have lost 25 lbs. And almost 2 complete pant sizes. 

This was my 'initial' goal.  Officially my pre-2nd baby weight. I told myself that when I dropped 25 lbs it would be time to start working out.  I'm never the one to do something on a small scale though, so when I decided to start, it was GO BIG OR DIE! And the time to go, is now.