Progress! And new goals.

It has been three weeks since I started this 'journey' of a better life.  Two since I've really committed myself to it.  I weighed in this morning at 238.4 lbs.  That is 15 pounds down!!!!!! I hit my first mini goal.  I do understand that it will start coming off slower, but the only advantage to being fat is that you lose weight faster I suppose.

I've been doing some version of working out every day, and hitting my miles walked goal of a minimum of 3 just about every day.  I let myself slip a little this weekend, which I have to make sure not to do this weekend if I want to hit my next goal (more on that in a moment). My diet this week so far has been absolutely excellent, and I intend to keep it that way. I just FEEL so much better than I have when I've been on carb/sugar overload.  That doesn't say that I don't have room for improvement.

Areas I need to work on:
1) Consistently hitting my calorie goals - if anything I haven't been eating ENOUGH, and the last thing I want to do is push my body into starvation mode and slow down my metabolism.

2) Motivation to go to the gym- This is HARD. I make it through a day of work, and then have both kids to try to get fed, changed and into bed, and THEN have to get my butt up and go to the gym. Thankfully I have my lard-butt dog to guilt me into at the very least walking him at night if I haven't already gone and worked out.

3) SLEEP - This is my huge area of failure. I do not get enough sleep for my body to recharge itself. Sleep is essential. I am trying to go to bed a little earlier every night, but because of all of the reasons in #2, that isn't really an easy task.  Especially on nights that I go to the gym.

4) Strength training.  To this point I've been almost purely cardio.  I do a little bit of circuit, but honestly at this moment I feel like lugging around 240 pounds of flesh is an awful lot of strength training.  I intend to start adding this in slowly, but I want to hit my next goal first.


Which brings me to my next goal :D

I want to be at 225 or below by September 1st. That is a minimum of 13.5 lbs in a month, a calorie intake/burn deficit of 1600 a day.  Impossible? No. Difficult? Very. But I'm pretty sure I can do it.

I'll keep you posted!
<3 ~Me

I got my FitBit....... Progress and goals!

I am so excited to say that I got my FitBit in the mail today. (It actually came yesterday, but my apartment complex decided to send it straight to the office instead of my place, so I had to wait until this morning).  It is everything I had hoped it would be and more.

For starters, I was VERY surprised when I realized just how much I walk at work if I make it a point to get up and talk to who I need to talk to instead of just texting/emailing them.  Just in the 5 hours I was in the office today, I walked over a mile.  Then I went to the grocery store and parked as far away as I could from the store.  Between that, my actual shopping, and walking the cart back to the store, I logged another .6 miles.

I was very pleased with the steps and mileage I was getting, but the one thing I WASN'T racking up was the floors climbed. I detest stairs. Stairs kill my knees and back. I realize that this is because I don't have the muscle needed to support my weight as I climb, but I'm not going to get that if I don't actually climb. So... sick of seeing the "zero" under floors climbed, I went outside to the apartment next door, and went up and down the stairs and up and down and... 10 times.  It doesn't seem like a lot, but trust me my legs are BURNING.

Then it was time to go to the gym.  I went last night, but I wanted to go again. That's the point of getting in shape right? Going to the gym?  Usually I wouldn't even consider it on a Thursday because I have a bunch of work to do tonight, but the most important thing is my health so off I went.

I did 10 minutes (.6 miles) on the elliptical. I'm building this back up.  2 years ago I could do 45 no problem. I'll get there.  My calf was cramping pretty bad so I had to stop (shouldn't have done those stairs first!) but switched to the bike instead. I did another 15 minutes on the bike which was 2.5 miles, and then 10 minutes on the treadmill for another .5 miles.  Then to square it all out I did some circuit training - upper body and abs - and stretched REALLY well, especially my legs. Not sure what is causing the Charlie Horses but I am not going to let that deter me. :D

When I got home I walked to check the mail instead of stopping on the drive in like I usually do, and finally am taking my dog for a quick walk.

Total today I will have walked 4.5 miles and burned over 3000 calories!  AND I weighed in this morning. I'm only weighing in every 3 days so I don't get disappointed over small ups/downs, and guess what? 241.6!! I wanted to lose 10lbs off of my start by tomorrow and I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesome right?!

On to the next day...

I'm Back... and a FitBit!

Well its been a heck of a past two weeks that's for sure!  I got INSANELY sick, followed by leaving for vacation (while I was still sick!)  I have finally kicked it - thank God - but it definitely waylaid my plans for a little bit. I haven't done my workout Yoga since my last post, so I have to start all over for endurance on that, BUT, I didn't completely blow my vacation.

I went to Montana. The lifestyle there is just completely different from what it is in Atlanta. That and the weather is significantly better.  As much as I would love to say I was out hiking and mountain climbing, that would be a total lie.  But I wasn't completely sedentary either. We took my oldest daughter to the fair and walked around there, and we went to a Farmer's Market, which was fantastic.  I basically did something just about every day which is a lot more than I usually do. I weighed myself too. I am officially at 244 lbs now. I wanted to hit 242, but being sick for a week and not working out definitely killed it.  This week I'll hit it though!

While I was there, my cousin told me all about her FITBIT.  I looked it up and ordered one because I was so impressed with it.  Its certainly not cheap by any means - 100 bucks! - but its worth it! It measures steps (like a pedometer) every day, total distance travelled, calories burned (with its built in accelerometer), stairs climbed, and even tracks sleep patterns! Its super easy to wear, and provides a lot of motivation because its visual PROOF that I'm lazy! It should be here by the end of this week I hope.  It also has a great website and forums that come with it, to meet up with other people like us that want to lose weight too.

The steps are all falling into place. This is my year.

Accepting Mediocre

Sunday's are lazy days.  I've mentioned before I have two girls, and the baby has gotten mobile so she's a handful, and the other one just never steps moving/talking/going, so keeping up with her is about all I can handle some days. Add all that in to cleaning and doing laundry and nap time, and there's just not a lot of time to do much of anything.  And you know what? That's OK!

My diet today was horrible. I didn't eat a single overly healthy thing (although I am about to eat a bowl of cereal because I'm starving), but didn't binge out on junk food either, plus  I had NO SODA (3 days now!) although I did have half a Monster Energy.  I even pulled myself up off the couch to clean and do laundry.

But the best part is, despite feeling kind of crappy, and being really tired, I made myself get up and do my work out.  I made it through the entire warm up and 6 minutes of the actual workout without stopping - which is a good step.  Its only been 3 days, but I see myself improving and can feel it when I get into better form. I'm definitely still working on stamina. Its harder currently because my arms and legs are killing me and I feel it from the very beginning, so I might have to switch it up for a day, but overall, I'm OK.

I didn't do great today, but I didn't do bad either.  I did mediocre, and I'm ok with that.  Because I did SOMETHING.

ch...ch...Choices!

The longest journey begins with the simple choice to begin it, and is affected by every simple choice along the way.

So if I'm going to do this (and I am) then I have to start making better choices.  I know better than to go all radical obviously, because that won't stick. I have to START by making little lifestyle changes, and bring on the more drastic differences as time goes on.  I started small.  Here are a few of the good choices I made so far this weekend:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and instead of driving around looking for the closest spot I could find - I automatically went to the back of the parking lot.  Not huge, but it was 30 extra steps (in 108 degree weather!) that I otherwise wouldn't have taken, and I walked a few extra laps around the grocery store.

Instead of my vitamin water energy I love so much (100 calories a bottle!) I got lifewater energy - (0 calories!) I drink 2 a day, so that's 200 calories!

My vice is Mt. Dew. I love it.  In the worst of my addiction to it, I would drink way more than I can even imagine in an abstract setting.  Every morning I'd grab a 32oz on my way to work.  I'd get a 20 oz bottle on my way out of the office, and usually have a can before bed. That's 5 1/2 cans a day -1600 calories.  I've been better lately, but that's a LOT.  That's nearly 3 lbs a week of calories, just in soda.  And soda is far from my only vice.  So I quit Mt. Dew.  Its only been 2 days, but that's TWO DAYS without it.  I haven't progressed all the way to water, but its a start.

Instead of "random sugar cereal", I got special K red berries.  So its not uber healthy grapenut type crap, but it tastes good and I like it, and my girl likes it - with whole grain and a ton less sugar.  Its a start.

I took my daughter swimming today.  Instead of driving to the pool - which is in my complex- we walked. Again, it wasn't an incredibly far walk that I could substitute for a work out, but its more than I would otherwise have done.  I also actively chose to SWIM with her, instead of laying on the sidelines. I swam a few laps, I pulled her around on my back, I jumped and I dove, and I had fun.  THEN I laid out on the sidelines. :D

And finally - despite being tired and worn out - I did my yoga work out again, and I made it 13 minutes with only a short rest!!! My arms are KILLING me right now, because apparently its all planking from minute 9 to 13 - but I made it further than I did yesterday.  My goal is by the end of this week to make it all the way through the first routine without a break.

I leave for vacation a week from today, and while ordinarily no one would try to lose weight on vacation, I am going to MONTANA. I am very excited about this, because the lifestyle is just different out there. Everyone is active and walks around, and my in-laws eat very healthy, so its a chance to re-vamp my eating style a little bit.  I intend to officially weight myself for the first time when I get back.  Its been a few weeks since I stepped on a scale, but the last time it was 252, so that's my starting point. I'm hoping for a big 10 pound starting loss!!!!!!!! (Totally doable in 2 weeks).

Baby Steps...... the first work out

I know that everyone has to start somewhere, and getting in shape is NOT going to be easy when its been as long as it has been for me since I exercised, but I also know that without exercise I'm kidding myself.  There are problems with this though... essentially I am a single parent, with two kids at home. (Baby daddy lives here too but checks out after 7:30pm).  This means I can't leave and go to the gym in the evenings like I would love to do.  That doesn't mean I can't do it though.  The problem is SELF-MOTIVATION!!! I have to get up off of my a$$ and do something!  But what?

I could walk with them in the evenings - but its been 100-110 every day here (Atlanta, GA) and subjecting the kids to the heat isn't something I relish, especially with their fat slow momma.  This is something I think I can definitely get into when it cools off just a touch. Besides, I want to give a positive example to my girls and they need exercise too!

I can't run - I can barely walk short distances without getting out of breath.  I'm so heavy that any impact type thing is brutal on my joints - so I need something to wean me back into working out.  But I think I found just the right thing!!

I ordered Bob Harpers Biggest Loser Yoga for Weight Loss DVD.  I love the *idea* of yoga. I've never really gotten into it, but I've wanted to, so now seems like a perfect opportunity.  I saw a video on youtube about a guy that couldn't even stand up on his own who started doing yoga and pulled himself back into tip-top shape using just yoga.  Plus I have a lot of lower back issues from my car accident a few years back, and have repeatedly been told I need to build up my core strength to alleviate it. It came in the mail today and I was so excited to try it out I immediately grabbed my new yoga mat and tossed that baby in!

Yoga is not for pansys!  

There are 5 workouts on the DVD: "Warm up" "Beginner" "Intermediate" "Strength" and "Cool Down".  Thats why I chose this one. Its  not all stretching and breathing.  He combines pilates moves in the intermediate section, and weights in the strength section to help build muscle, tone, and lose weight! Exciting right?  So I figured I haven't worked out in a few years, so clearly I'll just do the beginner work out.  Its no joke.  Its a 5 minute warm up, 20 minute work out and 4 minute cool down.

I made it through the warm up and was dripping sweat and feeling burn in muscles I haven't used in FOREVER. I am so inflexible that I couldn't do any of the moves correctly. I thought there would be at least ONE - but thankfully there was a modified version that was demonstrated very thoroughly - unlike most videos where the "weak" one is stuck in the back and you have to guess.


I'm not going to lie. I only made it about 9 minutes into the work out before I was struggling to breathe and my hands were slipping they were so sweaty and had to stop, BUT that is 9 minutes more than I made it yesterday, so I am still proud of myself. And I'll do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next until I can do the entire thing. I know its not going to be easy - but its my time.

The Beginning

Every story has a beginning. I can pinpoint when I really started to get big. It was about 10 years ago right before I got married when I broke my foot in 7 places. I was already plus size, but I could diet and exercise and lose 15 lbs and be ok. When I broke my foot, I ended up in a wheelchair for a very long time. Then I got sick and had several surgeries. When I finally started to recover – a year and a half later – I was in a car accident and hurt my back and my knee. More surgery. By then I had gained 30 lbs and my marriage was on the rocks. I didn't need to look good for anyone anymore, and I didn't feel good enough to look good for myself. So the weight gain continued.

I went from 165 to 195 pounds. When my marriage ended, I decided to focus on ME – and I dropped 15 pounds, but then I met my boyfriend and father of my 2 children, and the weight started to creep back on. Fast forward a few years and I had my first baby. I gained 55 lbs with her. Considering I was already overweight to begin with that was A LOT. I had ballooned up to 240 pounds. I dabbled in losing the weight and bounced back and forth for the next two years, but eventually I got down to 215. I was so close to being back under 200!!! Until I got pregnant again.

My second daughter brought me up to over 250 lbs. The highest I had ever been in my life. My self-esteem plummeted and now, 9 months later, I am still at 250 lbs. But its time to change.

I've spent the past 10 years of my life focusing on something or someone else, and I know that to get my life back, my shape back, I have to bring the focus back to me. Maybe that's selfish? But as I near my 30^th birthday, I realize that I want to be around for the next 30, and maybe even the 30 after that. So I will refocus and start slow. I don't expect to lose 100 lbs over night, though that is my ultimate goal. I haven't been 150 lbs since middle school, but I know I will get there again. Baby steps.....

I look forward to having any of you that care to follow me on this journey around – to ask questions or inspire me with your own stories, but overall, this is MY story.

Me, Myself, and I

My name is Christina. I have two absolutely amazing and beautiful little girls, a 4 year old and a 9 month old. I love them, but they're time consuming. I also work full-time as an executive assistant, and I am not the type of person that leaves work at work. I work weekends, nights, holidays, everything. Not because I have to, but because it is a part of me. But I want to change this, and now seems as good a time as any.

I am one week away from my 30^th birthday and despite what everyone says, I am TERRIFIED. Part of me is accepting that the end of my 20's means that it is time to grow up and be an adult, not that I'm not already, but it just seems so final, being out of my 'early years'. The biggest fear that I have, is that people die in their 30's. Before 30, its a 'tragic accident' when someone dies, an unforeseen event. After 30? Preventable.

You see, I'm a big girl. I've always been “fluffy” as I like to call it, but it is time for me to own up. I am obese, morbidly obese. I can make any excuse in the book, and trust me, I have plenty, as to why I am obese, but the fact is that I need to change NOW if I want to continue to be around for my girls.