Well work has been INSANE lately. Like more insane than Shaun T hyped up on caffeine. My workload and hours have significantly intensified along with the girls not being super cooperative most of the time... lets just say I've been stressed. I'd say that you should try potty training a 2 year old, moderating a 5 year old acting out at school and daycare, and still trying to keep up a healthy diet, work full time and then some (averaging 55+ hours a week right now) plus try to make plans for a long-ish international trip. Except I don't really wish this on anyone. It isn't easy, and I have found myself incredibly high-strung lately and spending quite a bit of time just in tears.
There was one night recently that I just did not want to do it. I didn't want to get up and push play. I was exhausted - mentally and physically. My body was sore, and it was a tough workout that night - Pure Cardio. I've expressed my feelings on that certain ring of hell previously. I thought of every possible excuse I could to NOT get up and just do it. But then I decided to stop that train of thought, and think of the reasons why I should.
I was having difficulty finding the motivation on my own, so I turned to my external motivators. My beachbody team. I have an awesome coach, and am part of an incredible team now, and as soon as I posted that I just COULDN'T possibly make it through, there they were. Pushing me on, giving me reasons to move forward, to get up and just do it. Endorphins are a great stress reliever! The energy that comes after a workout! Pretend you're punching your source of stress! You don't want the guilt of not doing it added to your current stress... And with their encouragement, I did it, and it was probably one of the most motivating and rewarding experiences of my journey thus far. When I thought I just could not possibly do it, I did it. And I killed it.
I am not in this journey alone. It is not just MY journey. I am surrounded by people who believe in me, even when I can't believe in myself. And by them pushing me, they're helping me set examples for others around me who have similar goals, dreams, and motivators, but just aren't certain they can do it. Well guess what?
IF I CAN, YOU CAN!
The changes I see in me after just these first few weeks are amazing. Its little things that I might not have noticed before - I'm lasting longer through every workout, doing more and more reps each exercise, jumping higher, pushing further, digging DEEPER. I'm climbing staircases at work without being out of breath or in pain from my foot when I reach the top, and carrying boxes of files without needing to set it down because they're too heavy. Pants that I couldn't even put on a month ago are loose on me now. So many little accomplishments that combine to equal one amazing accomplishment - I am getting healthier. Stronger.
Every day that goes by, every giant "X" I put through my workout calendar, every step I take, is moving me that much closer to my goal.
I've been avoiding the scale, so I don't know my exact weight loss, but honestly I'm much less concerned with that now. I know I am building a lot of muscle and starting to see definition where previously there was nothing, and I am certainly losing inches, but most importantly, I'm better.
I am now halfway through week 4. On Monday I have my fit test again, and measurements and a weigh in. I'm no longer embarrassed to post my results. I know there are going to be improvements. I see it in every workout. Whether its pounds or inches or stamina, there are changes, and I'm embracing them, and I'm so grateful that each and every one of you are on this journey with me, because alone, I would surely fail.
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